HANGZHOU, CHINA—Packing one’s life and beginning somewhere far from home is not easy for anyone, but for someone like Knox Balbastro who has always chosen uncertainty, the past year was nothing short of lessons on growth:
Back in April 2019, I tearfully kissed my husband at Changi Airport as I embarked on what I anticipated would be the adventure of a lifetime– leaving Singapore to work in Hangzhou, China. I had gotten a job at one of the world’s leading tech companies, Alibaba. This meant a new role, a new industry, and a new city where the general population did not understand my first or second language. Never could I have conceived that something even more epic was looming on the horizon: a global pandemic.
Though the crisis is far from over, I feel like I’ve aged a decade already. Luckily, that meant stockpiling some life lessons that might come in handy to other women (and men) out there. In celebration of Women’s Month, here are some suggestions on what to choose to challenge.
Choose to embrace the strange
The minute you land in China, you will feel foreign. Maybe it’s because every sign you see is written is in Mandarin or perhaps it’s because the roads and the buildings are supersized. China has already gone through a massive modernization but still, the work continues with cranes and construction sites all over major cities. In my first weeks in Hangzhou, I’d get dirty looks whenever I tried to pay in cash. Nobody has a wallet because everyone from banker to street vendor transacts through mobile.
Living in China means being forever on a grid which means having your movements tracked nonstop. But this also means that my grocery store will suggest that I liked that drink from the vending machine and that my Didi (an Uber-like app) often knows where I want to go before I even type it. More importantly though, as a woman living alone, it means feeling safe at all times— even walking alone in the dark or riding taxis by myself. I once forgot my phone in a city I was visiting and I was able to get it back in a matter of hours.
I got to explore different parts of China and what struck me most about the Chinese is their energy. They have a bounce and a lightness to their step. I go around villages and there are lots of young children being cared for by grandmas and grandpas as their parents go off to work in the big cities. There is a quiet commitment that an individual must make progress for oneself, for the family, and the country.
Never have I seen a stronger work ethic than what I’ve witnessed in China. While the rest of the world is clamoring for work-life balance, most Chinese understand that work and life are the same. They are capable and willing to outwork everybody and that is what makes them a formidable force. Their approach to life, their future-forward approach which spans decades of sacrifice should be respected.
Choose to be the stupidest person in the room
My new job was overwhelming. I struggled with the immense expectations, new styles of working, the language barrier, and all the new apps I had to learn to use for work. China speed meant getting your groceries in 30 minutes but it also meant delivering your work asap, always. A huge chunk of my time was spent feeling slow and frankly, stupid. I doubted myself, my leadership capabilities, and all my accrued work experience. But then it dawned upon me, this is supposed to feel hard. Change often is and I was in the process of unlearning past beliefs and quickly trying to assimilate new skills. There would be no shortcut.
I realized that after having achieved a level of success in a field, it is very difficult to jump out and try new things. But I think we all should. I implore you if there are deep interests that lay dormant, other passions you’d want to pursue, try it now. We will forever remember 2020 as the year the world stopped but actually, most industries stagnated while others progressed at warp speed. Commerce as we know it has profoundly and permanently changed. Take a big swing, even if you're unsure of the outcome because if you have been doing the same thing for the past 10 years then you might soon be outpaced and replaced.
Choose to use the algorithms to your advantage.
This year exposed just how destructive social media can be in our lives. If used wrongly, it can create chaos and misinformation, inciting vile rhetoric, hate, and even riots. But now that we’ve been made aware of social media’s inner workings, we can take action to counteract its effects. We don’t need to wait for companies to fix the problem. Always check the credibility of the source. Don’t forward blindly. Choose to see both sides of any argument. Don’t unfollow people who have opposing opinions.
When you sense yourself mindlessly scrolling, put a stop to it. Better yet, take breaks from social media completely. I learned that it is better to stay silent and figure things out on my own. I don’t have to have an opinion on everything. I am humble enough to say I don’t know and I’m willing to stay open to figure it out. Social media is just a mirror and if you’re at peace and unfazed, the algorithm may just reflect a clearer and more truthful picture of the world.
Maybe just once, choose to leave your heart behind.
Voluntarily leaving your new husband just 3 months after getting married is not something I’d recommend for the faint of heart. But the career opportunities we were presented with just happened to root us in different places and although I wanted him to join me, one of the foundations of our marriage is this profound respect for each other’s work. We are each other’s biggest cheerleader and harshest critic. When I hesitated to take the job in Alibaba, he asked me—if not now, when? He was right but that didn’t make it any easier. I remember what my mom, a former nurse, and a lifelong Overseas Filipino Worker would tell me, “The real price of being an OFW is loneliness.”
The solitude gave me the time and the focus to absorb all the things I needed to learn and it has made me feel more empowered knowing I can stand the noises inside my head that only come when everything around me becomes silent. If you’re ready to test your mettle, I suggest living alone away from loved ones for a year or two.
Choose to be bad and then laugh about it.
During this pandemic, some of you may have managed to develop healthy habits. But while you baked bread, I ate a lot of cake. While you picked up a new bicycle, I picked up old vices. This involved copious amounts of wine, binge-watching romcoms, and spending the day doom scrolling in bed. I didn’t discover a new hobby, take any online courses, and I definitely did not develop a love for plants. I’m not proud of it but I’ve decided not to beat myself up and I encourage all of my friends to do the same. This is a pandemic after all, not a performance evaluation. No one is going to give you a bad review at the end of it. If you are fortunate enough to be able to eat cake, cookies, and ice cream, please savor it. In the middle of my pandemic pizza face, you’ll find a grateful smile– thanking all those calories for padding the blows of this unprecedented year.
About Knox Balbastro
Born in the Philippines, raised in Saudi Arabia, married in Singapore, and currently residing in China, Knox is a citizen of the world and she has the wardrobe and life experiences to prove it. She fancies herself a futurist, trendspotter, and part-time advertising trinkets collector.
She’s most proud of her projects when they are able to combine storytelling, scalable solutions, and business results. An expert in the SEA social media landscape and global e-commerce content strategy, she has a strong start-up mentality and can work independently to deliver on key performance metrics and manage multiple stakeholders.
In 2016, she was chosen for the Cannes Lion See It Be It Class of 2016—a life-changing program that she wanted more women in Asia to have access to. In 2019, the program had its debut at Spikes Festival with her as a co-lead. She’s happy that this has given her the opportunity to shape the future creative leaders of the fastest-growing region in the world, Southeast Asia.
