SINGAPORE — So, you’ve been ghosted – not by the supernatural, but by someone you thought you had a connection with. But don’t worry, you’re not the only one left in the dark. Bumble, the women-first dating app, today announced the findings of its nationwide survey* on ghosting as experienced by single Gen Z and Millennial Singaporeans, which found that 57% of respondents have ghosted someone, and 61% have been ghosted before. A majority of respondents (73%) indicated they were ghosted after a few text messages were exchanged.
According to the survey, individuals that ghosted said they did so due to not feeling a connection (56%), being busy (43%), and wanting to avoid the awkward conversation of closing off the relationship (37%). Both women (58%) and men (53%) cited the lack of connection as their main reason for ghosting – and women (55%) are significantly more likely than men (30%) to ghost someone if their date did or said something that turned them off.
However, 65% of respondents do not think ghosting is a suitable way to end relationships. Those who have been ghosted indicated they become discouraged (42%), less confident (38%), and wary (34%) when it comes to dating. In particular, men (44%) are more likely than women (30%) to feel less confident in their approach to dating.
When it comes to generational differences in attitudes towards ghosting, Gen Zs have a stronger anti-ghosting stance, with 69% believing ghosting is an inappropriate action. Conversely, Millennials (60%) are more likely than Gen Zs (51%) to ghost someone due to a lack of connection, and 38% of Millennials believe ghosting is a normal phenomenon compared to just 20% of Gen Zs.
“At Bumble, we are firmly against ghosting, and believe that it is always better to have open and honest conversations if you’d like to end a relationship, or even just a correspondence. It may be uncomfortable but this momentary discomfort is an act of kindness and respect and will allow the person to receive closure to move on,” said Lucille McCart, APAC Communications Director of Bumble. “If you have ever been ghosted and it has made you feel disheartened, move forward with the knowledge that they aren’t the right match for you – there are plenty more people on Bumble who would love the chance to get to know you!” she adds.
If you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of ghosting, it’s time to double down on self care, and develop some new tactics that will help you recuperate, get back to feeling yourself, and become brave enough to get out there again – only once you’re ready. Here are some tips:
- Feel the feelings
When fresh off a ghosting, the best thing you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to feel all the things. Don’t fight the disappointment, confusion, and sadness. There’s no reason to judge yourself for having these emotions. In fact, if you acknowledge them and let them naturally move through your thought patterns (try journaling as a tool), it’s more likely you’ll process the bummer of an experience fully and more quickly. - Don’t try to figure it out
Honestly, you’ll never know what happened, so don’t torture yourself by replaying everything you said that may have resulted in a ghosting. Let us say this loud and clear: you didn’t do anything to cause this. You are not responsible for anyone else’s actions. You deserve better and you can absolutely get it. - Treat yourself
Love a good bath? Would rather stay in on Friday and watch a movie than go out? Is there a coffee shop that serves $9 pour overs that are your guilty pleasure? A book you’ve been meaning to read? Whatever feels good and nurtures you deep down, do it without hesitation. This time will pass, but if you need a little something to lean on, go for it.
*Methodology of Survey: This survey was conducted from August 5 to 16, 2022. The survey was conducted online on 1,001 Gen Z and Millennials in Singapore.
